**Hmm**

Went to school this afternoon to take CM1101 test... Like shit... Haiz... If this is what the lecturers are going to set for all the exams, please, someone kill me... 17 more days to exams... Still haven't picked up the mood to study... Why? Shouldn't I be more worried? Am I abnormal or what? Everyone is feeling panicky but I don't... I have a lot to read up because I've been rather lazy... And my tests results haven't been good... But? I guess I don't really care anymore... Why am I studying so much? As if I haven't been studying hard enough for 15 years of my life now... Since nursery at four, 2 years of kindergarten, 6 years of Primary school, 4 years of Secondary School, 2 years of Junior College, and now? On a 4 year journey of University... Why not 3 years? Well, since I have started on the university journey, and because of the course I've taken, it is not good enough to just get a basic degree... Not good enough to survive in the society... Everyone in university is there because it is the society that drives us there... Few people have the true passion in what they are studying... Some have other interests but are not able to pursue them... Some are probably like me, forced to study... Who really have fixed goals and aims in mind? Everything changes... As time goes by, decisions change, people change, surroundings change, mindsets change... Who can stick to their original aspiration when they grow up? Hahaha... Perhaps that is why those who can do it are all really famous and zai... Haiz... Only people who have really extraordinary determination and especially strong focus can make it to the top... But I am not one of them... And I don't want to be... I just want a simple and carefree life... A life full of happiness and no worries about stupid things like school... It's just so stupid to have to worry and feel stressed all the time... Oh, am I going to pass my tests? Am I going to have excellent results? Do I have time to finish all my work? It is like duh... I'd rather worry about other stuff can... School makes me sick... If I had the choice, I won't go to school so much... But that will just disappoint my family... Hmm... Well, this is life isn't it? Haiz... Miss him so much suddenly... Slightly less than 14 days before he comes back and cheers me up... Today's Halloween... Happy Halloween everyone!

...小猪 heArTs heR dAr (^.^)
-9:39 pm-

**Frustrated**

Kaoz... The stupid CM1111 lab report is making me irritated... All the results and calculations don't make any sense at all!!! Damn... Expect us to think about it the whole weekend is it... Sorry man, I am not going to think anymore... Shit. A pile of bloody shit. I don't care if what I write is correct anymore... Waste my time, waste my brain juice, waste my effort... In the end, confirm won't get good grade for it... Sick.
Today is just an irritating day. My idiotic brother won't go and watch The Legend of Zorro with me even though he said he would yesterday... Say he will be going out... In the end? Played com games and X box the whole day at home just now... No, wrong. He's still at it. Dumb ass. Guys... Just don't hold them to their promises... If they can be always true to their promises, they are not called guys. Period.

I WANT TO WATCH THE LEGEND OF ZORRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Argh!! @$#!%&@&!

...小猪 heArTs heR dAr (^.^)
-6:42 pm-

***Shit*

Haiz... Examz coming liao lo... Haaiiizzzzz... Sickening... Counting down to the day of the first exam on 18th November... That's like 22 days!! 22!! And tutorials haven't even finish yet!! Can you imagine trying to cram 2 years worth of JC work for each module in like about 3 weeks time?! @#$!!^&*(#!^ Crap... Really 超级无敌 sianz... (--") I seriously don't know what to do about Calculus and my GEK module... Sad. Suddenly, I feel the panicky feeling... Starting to get worried... Shit. A bit too late... So, I shall not worry pointlessly... Will only add to my pimples that are already on my face!! Ugly. (--")
Only my second brother and I will be in the house next week from Tuesday to Thursday... The rest of them are going to have a holiday in Malaysia... And I can't go because of the stupid dumb exams... Irritated. And my Dear dear still have two weeks to go in Taiwan... Bleh... Hope he buys back something nice for me... X) Hmm... But most importantly, hope he doesn't come back all skin and bones... :( He is already severely underweight for his height... 57 kg for a 1.80 tall guy... Frown. Nothing I do fattens him up... Sure, he eats more when I'm around on weekends but he loses it all once he goes back to Tekong for the week... Sighz.
Yesterday was my daddy's birthday... And we had an extremely chocolatey chocolate cake from Four Leaves... Was really nice though(And damn fattening)... There's a crunchy chocolate biscuit layer in between 2 chocolate sponge cake layers near the bottom... A 1 cm layer of very smooth choolate mousse and another 1 cm layer of pure chocolate jam on top... Yummy. Hahaha... 哎呀... Forgot to take photo of the cake... Senile. I must '减肥' already... Probably start a running regime after exams... Challenge my dear... Hahaha... No la... Will probably faint halfway... Heehee... For now, shall avoid fried, oily, chocolate, fattening stuff... For my health, shape and complexion!! Hahaha... Want to 爱美 suddenly... But then again, 爱美是人的本性... 注意注意!! I said 人的本性... 谁说男人不爱美? 只是爱美的男人的比例和爱美的女人的比例相对之下比较小罢了... Anyway, Dear dear's birthday is coming... Want to make an ice-cream cheesecake for him... Haha... Inspired by the Krafts advertisement on TV... No need baking in oven!! Hehe... Shall make my own recipe... :) Hope I can pull it off... Shall design a photocard for him too... But I don't know if I have time to make it... Must go take photos soon... And process those from the past... Hmm... And must wait for my acne to clear up a bit... So, must start planning all I have to do now!! Revision, Dear's birthday, movie time for Harry Potter(It's a must!! Can't bear to wait till end of exams... By the time it will have almost finished showing in the cinemas...) and what else? Oh, tuition for my pupil till just before my own exams... And what else? Hmm... That's enough to kill me I guess... =S Plus Dear is having his graduation on 17th November, the day before Econs exam!! But that's ok... At least it isn't exam for the other modules... Econs is the least I am worried about, now that I've heard what the other subjects' lecturers are going to set for our exams... Argh!! Gross... Exams are always gross... And this time round, they are seriously the most disgusting ones... Save me, somebody!!!

P.S: I wanted to watch the Legend of Zorro too(Premieres today)... But now probably have to give up the idea unless my 2nd brother want to watch it with me this weekend... :(

...小猪 heArTs heR dAr (^.^)
-7:50 pm-

Sighz**

I think I miss Weijie epecially on weekends... It has been too habitual for me to go out with him on Saturdays and Sundays... Hmm... Makes me want to treasure our time together, treasure him more now that he is temporarily not here... :) Hope that he is ok over there...

...小猪 heArTs heR dAr (^.^)
-9:41 pm-

Sighz**

Weijie flew off le... To Taiwan for his training... :( Came back from the airport just now... Feeling lost and empty suddenly... I hate feeling lonely... 忍耐for 3 weeks... It'll be a long 3 weeks... Sighz. I miss him already...

...小猪 heArTs heR dAr (^.^)
-11:44 pm-

SAI!**

Ok I'm back to bitch about my project group member again... Yes, the same guy... I declare that he is the world's biggest ASSHOLE... He thinks his ideas are really fantastic and he insists on little things that don't make a difference at all... (--") Geez... I wonder how a guy like him ever became a commando in his army life... KNS!! 自以为是，又没真才实料... 简直是白痴... Never ever want to talk to him again sia... Irritating! There is no point, no logic at all in his 'rationale'... Waste other people's time... Really bad thing to have this kind of people in project groups... Argh. Shall not talk about him anymore...
On a sadder note, Weijie is going away on Friday... Get more and more depressed as the date comes nearer... :( He is going to be away till 12th November... That's 3 weeks... And I will totally not hear anything from him till the last few days when he can take a short tour around... Sad... Got a 平安符 for him from the 观音庙 at Bugis yesterday... Hope everything goes well for him... Sighz... Shall miss him a lot... I'll wish for the time to pass really quickly...

...小猪 heArTs heR dAr (^.^)
-10:47 pm-

**Irritation**

I've got a totally disgusting lab partner... She doesn't do things herself and always bug me over the weekend to ask me questions that I don't have answers to... I mean, come on!! Can't you think it over yourself?! I don't mind if she asks me things she doesn't understand after thinking them through... Or that she wants to discuss with me... But no, she gives me the impression she WANTS answers. And she gives me the impression she didn't bother to try thinking about how to do the lab report!! I mean it is really unfair!! And when I told her I haven't done or finish my lab report, she doesn't give a damn!! She continues to bug me!! "But you know how to go about doing it right?" WHAT?! Does she think I'm some kind of answering machine or something? Like I will absolutely be right? What the... Damn sian diaoz by her lor!! Kaoz... And when I told her I had not done my lab report, she had the audacity to ask me if my friend lent me her report... So what if my friend lent me the report? Am I suppose to tell you all the answers in there then, when I'm busy with my stuff and not having completed my own report yet? Totally disgusted with her behaviour... She is so thick skinned that she doesn't get the hint that I am FED UP with her... "Roughly what time will you finish your report then?" And I was thinking, try asking me that question again and I'll slap your face the next time I see you. F***! (Apologies. She gets on my nerves too much.) And she still 不死心... Called my handphone to ask me how to do the questions in the lab report when I already told her I have NOT done it... I have exercised enough patience... Initially, I was thinking it is fine to help her out but now I realised she's getting too much... Every alternate week we have lab report to do, she does the same thing... Even the other lab partner I have was complaining to me about her in my lab session today... Apparently, she was pissed off by her bugging too... Shao says I shouldn't have helped her in the first place... And I must say I totally agree man... She doesn't deserve it. Sick.
Ok... Finish bitching about this bit of unpleasantness in school... Sighz... Shall now think about weekend!! Yeays!! Can have fun!! At the same time, still got plenty of work to do... Heehee... But then, I just read my horoscope and it says this weekend, even if I bury myself with my work, I won't be able to produce good results, thus it advises me to relax and have fun!! Yeays!! :) Moreover, he's leaving for Taiwan next Friday for 2 weeks so must spend more time together with him... >.<
Haiz... Think I am too stressed recently... Got breakout on my face!! Sobz!! x( Ever since I returned back to school, my face condition became bad... Initially, the period of time after A levels before I started school in July this year, I thought my face has been cured of acne, but now it has returned... Doctor says it's due to higher levels of stress in school that causes my hormones to rage like mad... :( He comforted me by saying it will go away once I stop school... But there's still 4 years to go!! Sobz sobz... So sad... Hope it clears up earlier than that... :/
Ok now I shall go back to read the novel I bought... X) I'm still happy that it's weekend now... *SMILEZ* And hope my complexion will get better after the much wanted rest this weekend... :) Wow... Think this is my longest post ever... Hehehe... *Yawnz*

...小猪 heArTs heR dAr (^.^)
-8:57 pm-

Faint**

Don't know why I feel unwell in my head these 2 days... And yet here I am not sleeping still... Haiz... What to do? Work to do... =X Sianz...
Anyway, I was rather pissed off by my project group member today... I don't see his point and I just don't feel justified about his way of thinking and the way he does things... He said we should have discussed the project last Tuesday... Ok, maybe we really did missed out on the project and concentrated on getting the moon report done... But that was the natural thing to do as we have to hand in that first... Plus the week before the last, it was he who arranged the work load to be shared among us... So I assumed he was going to start on his share of work and research... I assumed too much... And no... I don't really think he gets what the project is meant to be like... We had a proposal on hand but why doesn't he want to follow it? And he is being a super MCP by thinking that he is right about everything on the project... (--") I mean, please la, can't you compromise on the ideas the rest of the 3 members have? At least, I get that feeling... And I'm irritated... I don't want the project to screw up... And least of all, to be screwed up just because our lecturer is going to think that we are not putting in enough effort with what we are going to present to him... "I think about 24 pages is enough..." Complete with introduction, 10 myths, explanations, conclusion plus barang barang... "I'm going to do the write-up with double line spacing..." Wow!! Simply fantastic. He asks," Why must the report be so long? We got not enough depth to write about!" Isn't it obvious why it needs to be longer in that case? No depth then at least go for breadth la!! Include myths from other countries instead of restricting ourselves to just a few 'important' civilisations... Like that also cannot... "Will be very diffused," he says. Come on man... We got little or nothing to concentrate on like you said it yourself. No valid reason offered. In the end, with the 3 of us trying to convince him, he said, "Ok lor, if you all want more myths then we will add more lor..." Hooray!! Finally... "But I don't see the point because we can't find enough myths to fill up 20..." Who says anything about 20? We are just saying find what we can on top of that 10!! "No, it must be a round number." WHY?! Do any of you see his point? If so, please enlighten me man... (--") Ok, maybe I'm just bitching about this but I seriously don't like it at all... His style is really something... Yes... Something I've never ever come across till now... I think he is a bastard fella and he probably thinks I'm one hell of a bitch but I don't care... So long as the project is not screwed up... If it is, I will refuse to talk to him forever. Forever. Get that finality of my tone? Sheesh. *ScratchzZZzzzzz*

...小猪 heArTs heR dAr (^.^)
-12:30 am-

***Hmm...

Started off with a rather bad morning today... Felt giddy when I woke up... When I sat up, my eyes saw nothing but darkness and white spots... Seeing stars? I guess so... So I messaged Shao and told her I can't make it to the 1st lecture in the morning... Then went back to sleep... Woke up again at 8 am and this time my stomach felt funny... Had diarrhoea... (--") After which I felt like vomitting... Just not my day... Read the super dumb calculus textbook to sort of like impress all the theorems upon my spinning brains... Then I went to school in a daze for my afternoon chemistry lecture... The maths test in the afternoon was not as hard as I expected it to be... At least I could understand what the questions were asking... Well, that's the good part... But then, the bad part was, I don't really know how to answer... Anyway... It's all over... Thank goodness I'm spared from going for maths lecture the next time just to collect the paper... At least the lecturer, though sucky, had some sense in him to arrange it such that we get our papers back during tutorials... :) Feeling rather warm inside the whole day and my head's been heavy the whole day too... Haiz... Will go to bed after this... Got to wake up early tomorrow for econs lecture... Life's boring to the core and I wonder how long I can take it... *sighz* Everyone seems to be subdued and in low spirits these recently... I really want to break away from everything... Ok... I'm really drowsy now... Can't open my eyes nor think properly anymore... Sleep is my antidote...

...小猪 heArTs heR dAr (^.^)
-10:29 pm-

*Bleh**

Die liaoz... Tomorrow got maths test and I haven't studied for it yet!! Shit... Haiz... But I think whether I study or not makes little difference... Haiz...
Went shopping today... Hehe... Met him at like about 11 and we went Orchard... Bought a new pair of 3/4 pants le!! Yeah... Haha... I think he bought more things than I did... Actually I'm so glad that he doesn't mind shopping... Heehee... At least he doesn't get bored or feel sian when I tell him I want to go shopping... That's something I didn't expect... I thought only girls like to shop as long as I can remember... Not to mention actually asking if I want to go shopping... Hahaha... (^^) Anyway, I think my bones are breaking... Yesterday's dance was hell... Stretch and sttretchhh and sssttretcchhhhh... Gosh... Then just now went to walk half of Orchard in high heels... Xp Forgetting that I will suffer pains... ('-') But two happy things are that I bought my 3/4 pants and we went Coffee Club to have lunch!! Yes!! And my favourite mudpie again... Hehehe...




He always hide from my camera... :( **Bish!!**





Yummy!!! Tiramisu mudpie...

Ok... I shall now try and study... ('-') I don't think it'll be successful...

...小猪 heArTs heR dAr (^.^)
-10:05 pm-

Heehee**

Went to West Mall after school ended at 7 plus just now... Heehee... Bought another pair of slippers 了!! Haha... Tomorrow is another weekend!! Yes!! But I have a a lot of things to do manz... Lab report!! Sianz... Then, I have a maths test coming next Monday and frankly speaking, I don't know what I'm going to do about it la... I have been missing lectures ever since like... Ever since like... I also forgot when... KNS... The lecturer's full of shit like I said in my previous posts...
Anyway, there's dance tomorrow... Finally another lesson... Didn't have 1 last week and me and Shao pon tiao the one before that because we had to do our 'Heavenly Mathematics' project... Haiz... Think my bones will all break tomorrow... The warm-ups are enough to break them... :(
Hmm... Well, shall have some fun tomorrow... Heez...
Shall revise maths tomorrow and do econs tutorial... Yupz... That's all I shall do for the weekend... Hehe... Sunday is for rest, if not fun... Yupz... These two things to be done together with my darling... :) Miss him so much... He's going Taiwan soon for training at the end of October for two weeks... :) Shall ask him to get stuff for me... :p But unfortunately, my parents, my 大哥，大嫂 are also going Genting during the first week of November... So I'll be alone!! *poutz* Not really alone cos my 二哥 will still be around but he will be so absorbed in his gaming so he's as good as non-existent... :p Hmm... How nice if darling will be around during the first week of November... Hehe... He also have 同感... :) He was saying that it is too bad he will not be back from Taiwan yet during the first week of November... *shrugz* I guess I'll just have books and notes for company... By that, I mean loads of studying cos exams will be coming in the half-dreaded, half-anticipated month of NOVEMBER!! Anticipated because it's darling's birthday... X) And also HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE will be released in cinemas on 18th!! Hooray!! Keke... Harry Potter is still full of magic and work wonders for me... Ok, don't say I am a kid hor... Xp I get really excited with anything associated with Harry Potter... Just say the name or anything related and my ears will go "toing!!" Hahahahaha...
Ok, enough talk... I have to orh orh now... ZZZzzzz...

...小猪 heArTs heR dAr (^.^)
-11:44 pm-

**Lost**

I'm so sleepy and drained today... For 2 days I've been sleeping at 1 plus and woke up at 6 am the same day... And it had been fitful sleep, interrupted with periodic dreams... Feel aimless... Has life lost its meaning? No, that's a bit extreme... Maybe I should say 美好的事似乎都不存在了... 让我向往的事也逐渐减少了... 悲伤的感觉仿佛占据了我的心情... 很难甩掉这种感觉... 我要的快乐在哪里呢？He can't even know when I need him also... Because he is out of reach in camp... Why do I feel so pessimistic these days? No kick in me... I used to feel energized everyday... It's to the extent that other people think I was crazy to have so much energy... Now I just feel like I'm burnt out... Chao da already... Smoking... One lesson is just enough to make me dead... In fact, the thought of having 1 lesson makes me dead... Sighz... Miss him right now...

...小猪 heArTs heR dAr (^.^)
-9:54 pm-

My Heart Feels Sad**

My heart tends to feel sad... I haven't learnt to gain control of my emotions... Sometimes it's not that I want to feel this way... 我真的这么容易受伤吗？可以不要让我再伤心了吗？有时候真的很累...

...小猪 heArTs heR dAr (^.^)
-10:39 pm-