Positive attributes: altruistic, analytical, authentic, behaved, believing, benevolent, calm, caring, chart maker, communicative, compassionate, compliant, conscientious, considerate, creative, cultured, deep, deliberate, dependable, detail conscious, detailed, disciplined, emotional, empathic, enthused, enthusiastic, ethical, even-tempered, exacting, faithful, fervent, genuine, helpful, idealistic, industrious, inspired, intuitive, loyal, musical, nurturing, orderly, organized, perfectionist, persistent, personal, planner, pleasing, precise, prophetic, psychic, relating, reliable, respectful, scheduled, self-sacrificing, sensitive, serious, sincere, spiritual, subjective, sympathetic, systematic, thoughtful, understanding, unifier, unworldly, visionary, warm, well-behaved, well-organized.

To a woman, the words 'I love you' are perhaps the most important and touching words she can ever hear in her life.... these words carry with it deep feelings for the person who hears them... These words are said to the person whom you want to care for, you want to protect,the one you want to love.... however, they are also the most difficult words to say out loud, face to face.... you may find it easy to write, to record, to express it in every other way but just not say out loud to the ones you really respect, admire and constantly conscious of.... they are, or at least to me, a pledge, some kind of assurance... these words carry responsibility and weight... perhaps that's why it takes a lot of courage and effort to try and say them to your love ones...hmm... always, it seems to me, the words get stuck in the throat... you'll feel shy and hesitant... i guess in chinese it means, hua dao le zui bian que shuo bu chu kou... how adequate it is.... *sighz* when will i have the courage and when will i be touched? most people will ponder on this ba... or should i say most females out there, regardless of whether they are in love or not... it seems meaningless to say the 3 words many times but when you know it is for real, each word will be precious and wonderful... and when you really do hear it and know they are from the heart, you will know it does not come easily...

haiz.... so drowsy again... stupid medicine.... i'll be running with mei later.... wonder how my chaoda bun is doing.... he's having his IPPT today... hmm... hope he can do well... :) sianz... nothing to do nothing to blog oso.... bot a pair of shorts today... hehe... can't resist... and i bot the pair of green shoes yesterday.... looks like i can't stop shopping.... :S

yesterday went to see a doc... feel so drowsy after taking the medicine.... yawnz.... feel so drowsy now too cos i just took my medicine in the morning... hehe.... hmm.... nice weather to orh orh today... din't feel like waking up lorz.... haha... i'm such a little piggie.... now doing data entry.... cos my colleague din't come so i thot i'd just help her do some... or else she'll have a lot to do when she comes back.... so sianz... going to move down to the 2nd floor... sianz.... i'll be sitting beside my boss... then can't surf the net so blatantly le... oso can't blog everyday le... haiz... i dun wana go down!!! i am perfectly happy with the cosy storeroom now with only 2 or 3 ppl in it!! sobz... say goodbye to my freedom man.... sianz.... haiz.... really heavy headed now.... yawnz... i wan my bed...

had a nice weekend with my chaoda bun... hmmm... i decided to stop feeling so stupid on last friday nite... he spends time with me afterall... so i should learn to appreciate that.... it makes myself happier too this way... thinking of this i'm glad that he still think about me afterall... :) heehee... chaoda bun... his new nickname... cos his skin looks so toasted.... haha... he says he's crispy outside and soft inside when i said he's all overtoasted and crispy... so silly... met on sunday afternoon... went causeway point and had pasta at pasta mania for lunch... then we went to the cinema there to watch STAR WARS!!! haha... not bad not bad... yoda is so ke ai!! the little green fren... haha... but i really almost laughed out loud near the end where the mask was put onto Anakin's face and he breathed... my goodness... wahahahahaha... really tickled me lor.... the show was quite exciting though.... got a pair of rings from bits and pieces... :) we had our combined initials engraved on them... LWJK... stands for leong weijie joyce ke... had dinner at holland V at night... i've never been there before... so lousy rite... hehe... there's really alot of eateries... we ate at Crystal Jade Seafood restaurant... the food was not bad... really like the doufu with bamboo shoots and crab meat... haha... but the funny thing is i like the bamboo shoots the most... :p dunno how to appreciate the crab meat... hehe... *sighz* i'm sick... got flu le.... then now i can't taste and smell a thing... yesterday sent him to Pasir Ris and we had dinner at Simei... haiz... so fast go back le... but he's having his POP soon on june 8th!!! yeah!!! then he will have a week's break... :D going to watch his POP... explore tekong... haha.... quite curious to know wad it's like there... then can visit his bunk... really happy he asked me to go... :) makes me feel i'm wanted... *sighz* roadshow's next week starting on thurs... hmmm... should be interesting and fun... but it's at expo!!! so far away... *sighz* and by the way, the NOKIA ppl hasn't contacted me about my damn phone!!!! they said maximum 3 days for repairs and today is already the 5th day!!! i'm going down there later to scream at them... if they dare to tell me my phone's not ready, that's it man.... wah biangz... damn mad sia... haiz... later i'll go see a doctor after going to the service centre.... feel so drowsy now.... yawnz.... so tired... hmmm... feel like eating mushrooms... hehe... yummy... no no... wana eat chaoda buns!! :p *sighz* miss him again... but this time only need to wait 4 days then can see him le!! :D hmmm... probably miss him cos i'm sick... feeling worse minute by minute.... sobz!! :_( a little worried about him... cos today he's having a 16 km route march... haiz... hope he'll get enough water to drink...

had a fever yesterday nite and my throat is hurting me.... haiz... last nite's conversation with weijie left me a little disappointed and hurt.... he is booking out at 6 so he'll probably only reach home at 8.... then he said he will go clubbing with his platoon mates at nite so i was thinking might as well just meet on Sunday so that he can rest awhile before going out, since he is going to be home late if he goes clubbing.... haiz.... was disappointed cos i thot can bring dinner over to him.... and i was a little upset cos i dun like the idea of him going clubbing... clubbing just appears to me as a 'messy, complicated' sort of place.... and i dun trust those mates of his.... but nevermind.... can't stop him from doing wat he wans anyway.... and i oso dun wan to interfere too much... he has his own life to lead... but i thot so naturally we'll meet up on Sunday but he said wad if sunday oso not free? so i said then monday lor... then he said see how la maybe go out together on sunday with me... he asked me not to worry will definitely find a slot for me.... i felt hurt when i heard that.... i understood wad he meant but why does he have to use such a phrase? find a slot for me? haiz.... then i asked him why will he have no time on sunday, he said his JC frenz may be going out together.... haiz.... i dun understand... why aren't i the first person he wans to see? why? he is the first person i think of when the weekend is nearing but why can't i feel the same from him? every weekend is wad i look forward to becos i thot i can spend time with him and find some relief from my stupid work... and i thot he would wan to be with me too.... i guess i assume too much... haiz... i thot for a long while yesterday nite and i feel that maybe i already took up a lot of his time and he should meet up with the rest of his frenz.... he should still keep in touch with his own circle of frenz.... even though i dun like him clubbing i noe why he goes there with his platoon mates for.... but i can't help feeling hurt cos his words yesterday made me feel like i still have to queue up in line to go out with him and have to be sort of like 'assigned' a time to meet.... am i important or not? where am i placed in his heart? am i important but just not more so than his frenz? i'm so tired mentally these days.... all i want to do is to sleep and wait for weekends to come.... i feel happy at the thot of seeing him and at the same time i'll feel relieved cos i've gotten worried about him having such a hard time in there.... haiz... i really dunno and i'm so confused.... i think i give up le.... haiz.... just forget it... let him decide when he has time for me ba...i dun wan to think anymore.... it's rather tiring and painful to probably misunderstand that i'm just not that important to him or otherwise.... think it's just plain me again... stop thinking, stop thinking, stop thinking..... i tink too much.... haiz.... anyway i should make him relax himself ma when he is out... so i should just let him do wad he wans...

yesterday dear dear called.... he just finished his test.... told me his company is very unlucky.... got punished again and then yesterday they had no dinner cos the person-in-charge screwed up the arrangements.... by the time he ate dinner it was 11 pm le.... :( and wad was worse was that 50 people had to share 20 packets of food.... which is like very little lor.... haiz.... think he dint eat much.... then he told me he went to eat his field rations in the end.... so ke lian..... then yesterday i went to collect my phone and it malfunction again after i got home.... wad the.... haiz.... exact same problem somemore... dunno wad they did with my phone in that 2 weeks they took it away.... going back there to demand for a new handset... UTTERLY, TOTALLY disappointed with NOKIA services.... stupid manz.... then i sms dear dear about it ma.... so when he called and tell me about how he's been doing inside the army, i felt bad and xin teng at the same time.... like i'm so silly to complain about the stupid dumb idiotic cock-up phone when he's having a hard time inside.... it's like i feel that i should grow up or sth like that.... felt so bad at that moment yesterday that i cried... i dunno.... he seems to be xin ku in there and the most frustrating and saddening is that i can't do anything for him and so i should be more thoughtful rite? should not add to wad he has to handle... *sighz* it's like he is so tired everyday le so the least i can do is not to make him worry somemore and try to make him happy.... hmm.... feel that army is really a waste of time.... it is supposed to make one feel bonded to the country, feel a sense of belonging as stated in our Social Studies text, to prepare the people just in case there is a war, etc etc... but i think army destroys ALL sense of belonging... and you noe there are these ads on the train that toks abt the reasons to join the army, wad compromise is not an option and all these crap.... when i see them now i feel it's all bull... haiz... tok about national education... i dun tink there is any difference now.... look at all the kids now... many of them are just plain rude and teachers in school just give in to the parents whenever they complain.... i went to a primary school to collect some spoilt cashcards from the kids during their recess time, and wad i saw just made me shocked... it's like they dun queue up for food like we used to last time... they just crowd around and yell,"Auntie, Auntie, AUNTIE!!!!!!" and they get mad when the stall holder ignores them.... and they push each other out of the way.... ya even girls do that.... and outside of school i have seen kids push their way into the train, onto the bus, cut queue..... i mean dun the schools teach students wad is right and wad is wrong? wad is the world coming to man.... haiz..... army is just to me a sort of preparation in case there's emergency.... so save the rest of those stupid reasons... oh ya and the army doesn't teach people to bond and look out for each other's backs either.... i've heard too many stories from people i noe that people can get really selfish and mean.... backstabbing, tale telling, ostracizing, severe biasness, all sorts of crap.... i really dun have a good impression of the army.... wad with all the stories and real life news, it just seems to me that officers are sadists who try to make life difficult for the people who get enlisted... training should be tough i agree... but it shouldn't be unreasonable... there's codes and rules to follow but there shouldn't be cases where the truth is not investigated and the innocent get punished just becos the higher ranked 'kan ta men bu shuang' as they like to put it.... and another thing is that who's there to stop the highest ranked immediately? i mean from the way it looks, only when something severe happens then would anything be done about it.... but wad is the use then if the error in judgement is really seroius and that it has been made? haiz.... this is one disappointing reality and i'm sure there are other hidden stories people dunno about.... maybe i'm one hell of a pessimist but i'm so disappointed with life rite now.... everywhere there is unhappiness, troubles, problems, cruelty, terrorism(which is totally senseless.... it's such a joke... terrorism to me is like kill others and kill myself... why??? er.... duh....), selfishness, etc etc.... all these are overpowering the good things in life.... haiz... many people yield to power and money for the wrong reasons... why?

met weijie on Saturday.... we went to eat steamboat at a place called xian1 de2 lai2... hmmm.... felt rather comforted when i saw him eat a lot... he has become thinner again.... haiz.... yesterday went to send him off... we had dinner at White Sands..... really felt very tired yesterday.... he said he'll call me so i waited for him to call.... then i thot he forgot to call.... so i was sad.... but then it was becos he had briefing for his test starting today.... i think it made him upset.... felt so silly and so guilty for misunderstanding him..... haiz.... guess i was really too tired.... then it started raining so heavily this morning.... got me worried again... and i felt even more upset for misunderstanding him yesterday..... haiz.... feel so bad now.... :( his test will last for 3 days.... it's a sort of a camp.... then wun be able to be in contact with him..... haiz...... i feel so sad.... maybe it's partly due to the weather.... haiz.... really hope he'll get well soon.... i'm gg to do the roadshow job.... but then i'm wondering if i did the right ting..... cos 2 of the days r saturday and sunday.... then i wun be able to have much time to spend with weijie..... haiz.... i can meet him after work on sat i guess... but it ends at 8 pm and it's at expo..... so i'll take 1 hour to travel back to the west side..... by then it'll be late.... i dunno.... maybe i'll leave earlier on that day..... ya think i will..... leave at 5 or 6..... haiz.... i'm one moody girl today.... hope i can hear from him soon and know that he's not upset with me..... :(

went for a wedding dinner at Conrad yesterday night.... hmmm.... the hotel is nice but the food is not really nice.... but nonetheless i still enjoyed it cos i was able to meet my cousins whom i haf not seen for like maybe a few years.... was walking around Millennia Walk before the dinner and i saw the Candy Empire there.... so big..... feels like i'm in willy wonka's chocolate factory.... anyway, weijie called me yesterday night.... he finished field camp le.... told me that his company got punished right after they got back from field camp because of a few people... told me he is really tired.... hmmm... seems like he's coughing really badly again.... shall force him to see a doctor when he comes out on Saturday.... felt so happy when he called.... cos haven't seen him for almost 2 weeks liao.... and was worrying for the past few days cos it rained quite heavily almost everyday.... haiz... he is booking out this Saturday at 3 pm... that means lesser time together... think we'll go eat steamboat at Bugis.... hehe.... felt really happy yesterday cos he said he misses me!!! hahaha... (o"o) okie... i'm juz silly.... oh no... this proves that shao is rite... i'm really hua chi.... heeheehee.....but i dun care!! went to the NUS Science talk on Wednesday.... hmm.... Uni life sounds rather challenging.... haiz.... not sure now if i'm looking forward to go back to school..... cos i realized you wun make a lot of like close frenz in uni ba.... but it's ok... if shao is taking chemistry as well then at least i'll haf company... hehehe.... most of my JC classmates taking business..... dun really noe of anyone else who might be taking chem other than Linz and Shao.... hmmm.... hoping that tomorrow will come faster so i can see my dear dear again.... miss him alot.... feel so tired and i want to be hugged!!! went running on Wednesday evening... so shuangz..... realised i miss running... shall make it a point to run twice every week.... once with Mei and once by myself.... then i wun feel so like dead everyday.... running keeps my spirits up.... hmm... tinking of wad to buy for weijie.... must really measure his shoulders tomorrow.... so i noe wad shirt size to buy... haha... meeting Cat, Jian and Mui later for lunch... Haven't seen them for a long time too.... There is a roadshow coming in June at Expo.... feel like doing the job but i can't possibly take leave for 4 days to do it lor... haiz.... sianz... think it'll be fun to work there..... anyway shall stop here.... sleepy!!!

haiz..... can't help feeling really sianz... haven't seen and heard from weijie a week liao.... when will his field camp ever end....? hmm.... and my phone's keypad is spoilt so i have sent it for repair on sat... it'll only come back to me like in 1 to 2 weeks time!!! wah kao.... and i waited for 100 ppl before i got serviced at the NOKIA care shop in causeway shopping centre.... diaoz.... (_ _"') had a nice dinner with shao on friday nite... heez... fish and co at dhoby ghaut there.... hmm... will ask if weijie wana eat that when he's out dis sat... he loves seafood.... but i oso feel like eating the steamboat at bugis there.... my brother and his girlfren keep recommending it... but it is quite ex... i suppose it is worth it ba.... around 20 bux for unlimited food and drinks... still need to prebook somemore if you wana go there on weekends.... wow.... some place huh... feeling rather sleepy now cos i juz had lunch.... going to work is really damn boring which explains why i'm blogging.... okie i noe i always complain about work... but there is nothing interesting happening in my life right now... it is currently revolving aroung work and more work at this time.... my weekends will be given to weijie.... cos he doesn't have much time outside now... but it'll get better once he has his POP... hmmm... should go watch him on that day.... :) trying to save money.... cos it's like i've been spending alot... i realised i didn't save the money from work.... haha... i had started work at the end of january till now... by right if i didn't spend alot i should have at least 2000 bux but it's like less than even a thousand in the account that i opened to put all the money i get from working.... sheesh.... think i have been buying too many things... gosh... especially clothes.... don't even really have the chance to wear them lor.... haiz... well, i suppose can save them till uni starts in august ba... haha.... by then i would probably not buy anymore clothes... or maybe just a few more if i see any that i really really like.... hmm... i better do what i say.... (o"o) hehehe.... must go exercise too.... getting fat!!! my goodness.... i wish for school to start soon.... then i can be in the company of frenz everyday once again.... hell lot better than working in an environment where ppl try to back stab you.... hmm.... shall log off for now.... i promise i'll blog something that is more interesting once it happens in my otherwise stupid boring life now.... damn.... :x

hmmm..... So sian man.... Weijie has a field camp for a week..... a week!!!! my gosh.... so damn long man.... then wun be able to contact him... haiz.... then he told me he has to eat those horrible rations.... he'll become even thinner than he is now!!!! :( so sad.... think i'll really cry if i see him become thinner than now.... bleh... hmmm.... plus he's been like coughing horribly for so long and he says this makes him lose his appetite.... haiz.... well really muz make sure i can fatten him up on weekends.... or else he'll become like those refugees..... (_ _"') anyway, today is a friday!!! yupz!! weekend means i can take a break from my stupid work.... working at NETS is really lousy.... dun really like the environment there.... i'm so sianz.... doing data entry again now.... for the past week i was doing some cashcard thingy for kids.... busy like hell.... explains why the blog is empty since like april 25th.... went pubbing with weijie and his platoon mates just last saturday.... 1 bunch of 'coughers'... probably why they all can't get well soon enough.... cos they are probably passing the germs around..... had a rather ex dinner at Suntec that day... hmm... 60+ for 2 of us... but it was very nice.... heez... then on monday went to harbourfront to take cable car with weijie.... hehehe.... well.... i think i better continue with my data entry.... and yes i remember that i have a date with you tonite shao my girl.... heez.... :) feeling rather full now though.... probably wun eat much.... hehehe....